The Foundation of Mastery: The Power of Clear Agreement

Lately, I’ve become quite aware of something that keeps showing up in my coaching, in my relationships, in my business, and honestly, in my own growth.

When something feels off in a coaching session, a relationship, or a project, it’s human nature (and our western culture) to ignore that intuitive pulse and keep going. The good old, "operating on top of, in service of productivity."

But if you pause, stimulate your curiosity, and take a look underneath the hood, there's usually valuable information in the intuition or emotion. And more succinctly, it can lead back to the agreements you set (or didn't set) with your Self, your Client, or your loved ones. 

In normal life, this is often referred to as boundaries, expectations, or standards. In coaching, we call this "Establishing and Maintaining Agreements".

These include:

• The expectations that were never fully named.

• The clarity that was assumed but not confirmed.

• The alignment that felt “good enough”… but wasn’t actually solid.

• The ownership and accountability that wasn’t designed and empowered.

• The ever evolving landscape that requires updating our direction as we grow and change, and our environment grows and changes.

  
  

In MCC level coaching, there’s an understanding that the presenting issue is never the problem. The real conversation - the one that is creating symptoms that we impulsively try to treat, creating a fire-drill mentality - is two or three or seven layers deep. And if you can reach that level of depth and awareness, you tend to resolve any “How” problems simply by seeing and understanding that part of you that’s blocking your natural resilience.

I’m becoming more and more convinced that if you are a coach, a leader, a partner, a human in any kind of relationship, Powerful Agreements is the one skill to get right. Not in a checkbox kind of way, not in a “we talked about it once so we’re good” kind of way, but in a deep, embodied, living, breathing kind of way.

Because here’s what I see all the time: we move quickly, or assume alignment, or say yes without fully knowing what we’re saying yes to. We nod along, we think we know, we set a goal, we begin. Yet, underneath our rush to provide solutions to an assumed problem, there are layers that aren’t examined, such as those unclarified expectations or unnamed boundaries or disempowered accountability. 

And then… we hit a block that we can’t manage ourselves or others around. This can look like:

• Someone not following through (or clients coming to consecutive sessions without completing what they declared)

• Someone feels disconnected (“what are we working on again?”). 

• Progress stalls or stops (“maybe I just didn’t want that thing enough”). 

  
  

…And we try to solve it at the surface, when the truth is, it started at the agreement.

At a masterful level, setting powerful agreements doesn’t start with the first session or question - it begins long before that. It begins with the first interaction, the first breath, the first energetic encounter with the other person. Because the first agreements you need to set are ones with your SELF. 

So ask yourself this: what ARE the agreements to set with yourself, that have you showing up in your mastery with the client? What can you be counted on for, emotionally, professionally, energetically, logistically? What does success look like for YOU, before, during and after the client comes into the picture?

Coaching Mastery is Self Mastery, even with Powerful Agreements. 

And if the client isn’t making the desired progress and we’re unable to have a transformative conversation around that journey, the agreements we need to re-evaluate are the ones with 1) our Selves, and 2) with the Coaching Process. Only then can we have the honest conversation to re-set the container and the agreements with client: 

• "What aren't we talking about now, that would make the biggest difference in our work?"

• “What am I not addressing, that I should be addressing as your coach?”

• "What's the REAL goal about now?"

• "What's changed for us since we started?"

• "What's this direction really about for us?"

• "What needs to be updated, reconsidered, or reinvented to hold what's most important as most important?"

  
  

The strength of the coaching container is equal to the level of stand we can have for our clients, and they can have for themselves.

When that container is continuously nurtured and strengthened, everything inside of it works differently. There is more trust, more ownership, and more depth. The work has somewhere to land. And when it’s not, even the best questions, the most thoughtful reflections, the most skilled coaching… can feel like they’re missing the target.

There are 6 components to creating a MAsterful Agreement, in my mind:

1. Having a clear, partnered focus or goal

2. Having a direction that’s deeply meaningful

3. Having a metric or measure of success

4. Identifying the gap between here and the goal

5. Checking in on the direction as things change

6. Completing powerfully and in partnership

   
   

Friends, Establishing and Maintaining Agreements isn’t just for Coaches! I’ve seen Agreements breakdowns in marriages, friendships, leadership teams, parenting, and volunteer work. The breakdown is rarely because people don’t care. It’s because the agreement wasn’t clear, wasn’t owned, or wasn’t maintained. But the great thing about breakdowns is that once they’re identified, breakthroughs are immediately available. 

Last thing to remember - agreements are not static. They are something you build together, and then tend to together. They evolve and shift. They deepen as the conversation deepens, as the person in front of you changes, as awareness unfolds and the path changes because of that insight. A big part of mastery is staying in relationship with that, and dancing in the moment, able to hold both the coaching container AND the ever-changing landscape.

Re-empowering one’s Agreements doesn’t have to be harsh, judgmental, or rigid. Consider that re-setting our agreements can be one of the most generous things we can offer each other:

• To slow down enough to really understand. 

• To name what’s true. 

• To co-create something that’s aligned and real. 

• To check back in when things shift. 

• To stay in partnership, not assumption.

• And to celebrate and complete powerfully instead of in breakdown.

  
  

Establishing and Maintaining Powerful Agreements is still a practice for me, especially because my survival mechanism LOVES to move fast and produce value. But every time I slow down and really build/re-empower the agreement or direction, I feel the difference immediately. The work gets cleaner. The connection gets stronger. The impact gets deeper.

Slow is Smooth and Smooth is Fast. So take the time to get back to those Agreements. Ask the deeper questions of yourself and the client. Stay in it. Revisit it. Strengthen it.

Because if you do nothing else as a coach or a leader, this is the foundation. This is the thing that holds everything else together.

And when you get it right, everything else has somewhere solid to land.

With love and mastery,

Lisa