The Most Underrated Skill We Don’t Talk About Enough

I’ll get straight to the point. There is something we deeply undervalue in our Western culture - and it has nothing to do with talent, intelligence, speed, or ambition.

It’s stamina.

The ability to stay with something hard longer than we think we can.

Our consumerist culture celebrates quick wins, overnight success stories, and viral moments. We romanticize ease, comfort, and convenience. But the truth is this: most meaningful growth, transformation, and mastery comes from staying engaged in the messy middle - the part where things feel too long, uncomfortable, slow, uncertain, or “not right”.

I’ve been running LP Coaching for 14 years now as an entrepreneur. That’s TWICE the amount of time I’ve spent in any other profession (I was in Recruiting and HR for 7 years before that). Given that 82% of trained coaches close their business permanently after two years, I’m asked this question often, “What’s your secret to growing and sustaining a successful business?”

Often, I’ll have a professional and poised response (more on that below). But sometimes, if I’m feeling sassy, I’ll say, “The REAL answer? It’s because I can suffer through hard things longer than most people.”

Now, you might be thinking, “nobody wants to suffer, that’s dumb”. Or, “what about if something really isn’t right for you? Do you stick with it even if it’s the wrong choice?” Or, “isn’t this the same thing as resilience?”

Stay with me here. Because there are only a few places in life where we truly come face to face with this reality that stamina reins supreme:

1. Parenting is one of them, particularly the experience of giving birth and then continuing to show up day after day, night after night, beyond what we imagined we were capable of. Here, stamina, patience, being in the messy middle, playing the long game, is the MOTHER of all skill sets.

2. High-level performance is another, whether it’s sports, music, chess, acting, or any craft that requires devotion. The public sees the performance; they rarely see the tens of thousands of unglamorous hours of practice that made it possible.

3. Mastery (Coaching mastery, especially) also belongs squarely in this category. The ability to embody the framework of coaching so deeply that it becomes an artform. Going from Incompetence to Unconscious Competence (Martin Broadwell).

And before we move on, I firmly believe this - we choose our hard. Comfort is a myth. And often, we HAVE to experience pain, suffering, discomfort, inconvenience, etc before we’re able to reinvent our relationship to that commitment and choose something different (like ease, peace, surrender, joy, fun, experiment) in the face of the hard. We HAVE to get out on the field to practice imperfectly, do our wind sprints, and get bruised before we can Play Pro.

The Myth of “It Should Be Easier By Now” (Aka, our Resistance)

I find that most people underestimate the work it takes to earn an MCC credential, not because they aren’t capable, but because they don’t see the full picture.

They see the hours logged.They see someone else who “made it” with an MCC Credential posted on Facebook/LinkedIn.They assume it’s a matter of time and boxes checked.

What they don’t see are the 10,000 messy hours of deliberate practice (Malcolm Gladwell), the refining of presence, the repeated and vulnerable feedback, the discomfort of hearing what isn’t landing, the humility of starting again, the courage required to stay when resistance shows up.

And resistance always shows up.

This month marks the start of a new year of IGNITE Mastery, and every single cohort reminds me of the same truth: 1) everyone has a beautiful set of natural skills lying underneath all the habitual ways we think we should be coaching (I call this performance), and 2) everyone has a unique way they will resist unlearning those protective or performative habits.

Resistance isn’t a flaw.It’s a reflection of fear.

Resistance is a noble, well-intended protection mechanism that becomes unconscious and unexamined at a slow, deep, spacious level. It shows up as procrastination, over-intellectualizing, dismissiveness (“this part is boring”), comparison, avoidance, or the story that “I should be further along by now.”

Most people don’t recognize resistance as resistance, which is exactly why having trained professionals outside of yourself is essential.

Foundations First: Why We Start Where We Start

In IGNITE, we begin at the beginning, not with flashy techniques or advanced demonstrations, but with ethical practice, mindset, and business hygiene.

I often say that demonstrating ethical practice is like having good hygiene.

If you’ve never been taught it well, or if you’ve picked up bad habits along the way, learning proper hygiene can feel overwhelming. It can trigger shame, boredom, defensiveness, or dismissal. And yet, without a clean, solid foundation, nothing sustainable can be built on top.

Mindset BEFORE skillset. This is the foundation that will bring you back to your purpose when you hit the long and messy middle.

For me, a strong foundation rests on three relationships:

1. Your relationship with yourself. How you relate to feedback, practice, fear, growth, self-compassion, and your own humanity.

2. Your relationship with others. Especially critical for service-based professionals. How you relate to clients, sales conversations, boundaries, trust, and connection.

3. Your relationship with the process. This one is DECISIVE in coaching mastery.

   
   

If you believe you should be somewhere else than where you are, the process will stop you cold. Or at least, you’ll suffer in place for much longer than you need to.

This is where many coaches exit the MCC path, not because they lack skill, but because the process mirrors their deepest fears: rejection, not being “good enough” or “smart enough”, feeling like a failure, or receiving vulnerable feedback that stings.

None of us wants to feel that.

So the question becomes:

- How do I want this journey to go?

- What would make me feel safe while doing something hard/uncomfortable?- What’s the benefit of recognizing my resistance/my fear, befriending and healing it, and having a different experience when doing hard things?

Stamina Is Built in Community

One of the most important lessons I keep learning, personally and professionally, is that you cannot do this alone.

Whether it’s pursuing MCC, building a business, or evolving as a leader, stamina is strengthened in partnership with others.

My own “secret sauce” has always been this:

• A community of peers who keep me grounded and sane (“hands on shoulders”)

• A guide or mentor who is several steps ahead of me (a champion who stands for me)

• A willingness to stretch myself beyond what’s comfortable (a clear, inspiring commitment)

  
  

If there were an easy shortcut to mastery and success, there wouldn’t be millions of people offering five-step funnels and “the fast pass to XYZ” and quick-fix solutions in your inbox.

Depth doesn’t sell itself easily.

But depth is what lasts.

Depth Is the Differentiator in the Age of AI

This brings me back to my last newsletter on High Touch in a High-Tech World.

AI is exceptional at pattern recognition, speed, and automation. It can generate the average of what already exists.

It cannot read body language, tone, pacing, energy, history, intuition, and the unsaid.

Transactional coaching will likely be replaced.Surface-level support will likely be replaced.

But MCC-level coaching, grounded in whole-body listening, trust, presence, and depth, cannot be replicated.

Human beings still want humans.

They want to be seen, felt, challenged, and understood by someone who can stay with them through resistance and growth. You cannot Co-Regulate with a machine - but you CAN co-regulate with a human.

The Invitation

We underestimate our stamina because we’ve been taught to value ease over endurance.

But mastery asks something different of us.

It asks us to stay. To practice. To receive feedback. To trust the process. To lean into community. To build depth over time.

If you are on a path that feels long, demanding, or uncertain, you’re probably exactly where meaningful growth happens.

And you don’t have to walk it alone. Reach out before you think you need to. Get acknowledged often. Receive support and compliments. Give when you feel scarce. And never forget that you can do hard things.

With trust and love,

Lisa